FOCUS ON LOVE.
Here’s a story of mine that I will share with you in an effort to maybe help you.
My athletic, sports addict 12-year-old son hurt his knee 5 months ago. A 3 to 5-month recovery we were told. We are now in month 5 and I just heard from the surgeon yesterday, he may need a 3rd surgery.
He is not walking. His leg is not bending much. He is not improving.
Yesterday I lost my shit. I did. Cried for a good 15 minutes on a drive. Had mass anxiety. Tired. Drained. DEFEATED. HELPLESS. I prayed over and over, GOD FIX HIS KNEE. I was desperate as an over tired 3-year-old.
In some way… in some situations far worse, or far less bad; WE, all of us, have been there.
I sucked yesterday.
I PRAYED. I asked others to PRAY. No this isn’t a story about how we woke up with his leg fixed this morning. I believe it still will be, but it will be hard and it may not be a path we wanted to go down. Or he may never walk again. Honestly, no one could know that. We will work diligently. We will be model patients. Do all that is required and beyond.
This is what I am going to do going forward.
Love: That is what we as a family are going to focus on.
FOCUS ON LOVE.
What I can control. And what I can control is loving my whole family. My wife. My other kids. And my injured son. And then I am going to do that again. By serving them. Taking out the trash and 1 million other little things to show my love for them. And then do that again the next day. More hugs. More talks. MORE LISTENING!
I am not going to beat myself up either thinking THERE IS MORE I CAN DO. I can not. I am not a therapist, a surgeon, or God.
I will not worry about the future.
(Yesterday: OMG he LOVES, LIVES BASKETBALL, what if he never plays again? Then what. Yesterday: This sh!t ain’t fair. He should be running. At school. Dominating on the court. Having fun. Improving. BEING A BOY!)
Today: He’s smart, witty, and still has a positive attitude about this. Today we are going to laugh, have fun, and try hard to get that leg better. And if doesn’t; we will try again tomorrow.
I will continue to pray. For healing, patience, but more than anything: peace. Peace in mind so I can love others the best.
He will end up with a STRONGER MIND AND A WARRIOR SPIRIT. How do I know that? I know I can give that training to him as a father. I can TRAIN HIM TO BE A SPIRIT WARRIOR. And if his knee comes around, that will be fantastic and I will cry often as I appreciate that gift from God. And if it doesn’t I know his spirit is strong.
I will no longer, like yesterday, get down on myself. SHIT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE, FAR WORSE. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT. THE MOMENT. And if I do get down for a day or a minute, I will embrace that shit too. Head on.
This morning, his knee was better than yesterday. Not much. But better. He is spending time with his grandma today. He was able to attend almost all of his brother’s basketball games his brother’s senior year. He has great talks about life, gossip, and music with his sister. He’s gotten tougher mentally. He has spent a lot of time with mom and dad. There is much good in this that has come from this. If not for his injury none of the above would of happened. I myself would of missed a lot of my oldest son’s games coaching my youngest.
TODAY IS TODAY.
AND TODAY IS PRETTY WILDLY AWESOME.
life is a ride… get on with it. – Joel, God bless. FOCUS ON LOVE.